Family Expectations guide

Part 1 of 2

How the mod works

Every parent wants something for their child. This mod remembers what, and lets it shape the family.

You choose what each parent expects of each child: school, a career, marriage, children of their own, money. You choose how much it matters, and what kind of parent they are when things go wrong.

After that the family runs by itself. Your Sim gets promoted, fails a class, gets engaged, has a baby, finally makes some money, and their parents find out and react. One is thrilled. One says nothing. One is disappointed it took this long. The child feels it stacking up and carries it around. Over time a parent grows proud, or disappointed, or gives up. In a big family one child quietly becomes the favourite and another becomes the one who never measures up.

The same promotion can land five different ways depending on who the parent is. That is the whole point of the mod, and this page explains exactly how it decides.

Getting started

What you need

The Sims 4 base game. No packs needed. Every picture the mod uses comes with the mod or with the base game, so nothing is missing or blank if you do not own a pack.
Lot 51 Core Library 1.43 or newer. Required. The mod does nothing without it.
Script mods on: Game Options > Other > “Enable Custom Content and Mods” and “Script Mods Allowed”. Restart the game if you had to tick either one.
Tested on game version 1.129.39.1030 with Core 1.43.

Installing

Unzip the download.
Drag the whole Maplebell_FamilyExpectations folder into your Mods folder.
It must end up like this:
- Mods\Maplebell_FamilyExpectations\Maplebell_FamilyExpectations.package
- Mods\Maplebell_FamilyExpectations\Maplebell_FamilyExpectations.ts4script
Both files are needed. The script will not load if it is buried deeper than one folder inside Mods.

Updating: delete the old folder first, then add the new one. Never keep two copies.

Removing: delete the folder. Your Sims, relationships, money and households are all fine. Only the mod’s own settings go.

Where it is in game

Click the Sim you are playing, then Actions…, then Family Expectations…

A parent gets a list of their children. Pick one to set what you expect of them.
A child (teen or older) gets a list of their parents. Pick one to see what that parent wants from them, as far as the child knows.
A Sim who is both gets a small screen first asking which side of the family you mean.

The extra conversations are in their own Family Expectations wedge when you click another Sim.

Part 1: the things you set

The five areas

Education. Career Success. Marriage. Children. Financial Success.

Each one is set separately for each parent and each child. A mother can want a career for one child and nothing at all for the other, and the father can want something different from both.

How much it matters (five levels)

Level	What it does
Does not matter	Nothing. This parent never reacts to this area at all, ever. No notification, no moodlet, no pressure.
Would prefer it	A mild hope. Reactions are small, about 40% of full strength.
Considers it important	Real reactions now, about 70% strength.
Strongly expects it	Full strength. This is the level the whole mod is balanced around.
Non-negotiable	130% strength, and it changes how success works. See below.

That last one is worth reading twice: “Does not matter” means truly silent. If a parent does not care about school, a failed class does nothing at all. This is deliberate. A mod that reacts to everything is just noise.

What kind of parent they are (five settings)

This is separate from the level, and it does a different job. The level is how much they care. This is what they are like about it.

Setting	On bad news, approval drops by
Harsh	150%
Critical	125%
Even-handed	100%
Supportive	60%
Unconditional	30%

Two important rules here:

Approval always drops on bad news. It never rises. Even an unconditional parent is privately disappointed. They just feel less of it and say it much more kindly. Approval is what a parent feels inside, not what they say out loud.
This only touches bad news. A harsh parent enjoys a promotion exactly as much as a warm one does. Being harsh is about how you handle failure.

It also changes the words. On a setback, a cold parent and a warm parent get completely different messages, and a parent who is both Non-negotiable and at an extreme gets their own strongest lines for the three biggest setbacks.

Suggest

If you do not want to set all this by hand, the parent’s screen has Suggest. It reads the parent’s traits and their aspiration and fills everything in.

24 traits count for expectations. Bookworm and Genius push Education. Ambitious and Overachiever push Career. Loyal pushes Marriage. Family-Oriented pushes Children. Materialistic pushes money. Hates Children pushes Children down. Commitment Issues pushes Marriage down.
27 aspirations count too, and they stack with traits. A Bookworm with the Academic aspiration lands on Non-negotiable for Education, because they are saying the same thing twice.
For what kind of parent they are, it reads Mean, Evil, Snob, Hot-Headed and Jealous as colder, and Good, Family-Oriented and Cheerful as warmer.
If you own Growing Together, it also reads the family dynamic the game already gave them. A parent with the Strict dynamic toward this child is suggested as critical. If that parent is also Mean or Evil, the suggestion is harsh. A parent with the Supportive dynamic is suggested as warm. That is the strongest single signal it uses, because the game has already made that call and the mod should agree with it.

It is only a suggestion. Change anything you like afterwards.

Part 2: what happens on its own

The 17 things parents react to

Career: promoted, demoted, fired, laid off, and small early promotions
Education: grades going up, grades going down, and small improvements
Marriage: engaged, engagement called off, married, and divorced
Children: a first child, and later children, born or adopted
Money: passing 50,000, then 250,000, then 1,000,000 simoleons

Each one comes with a notification written for that specific parent, with several different wordings so it never reads the same twice, and a moodlet.

Who actually hears about it

This is the part players notice first, so it is worth being clear.

A parent living with the child always hears.
A parent living somewhere else needs a friendship of 15 or more. That is barely above acquaintance, so any normal family clears it easily.
A parent below that hears nothing. Not a quiet reaction, nothing at all. Let a relationship rot and that parent genuinely drops out of their child’s life.
A parent who has died never reacts, ghost or not.
A paused parent never reacts, because you told the mod to leave them alone.

Not all news is equal

Every event has its own weight. A first child counts for more than a fourth. Getting fired counts for more than a bad grade.

Setbacks also carry blame, which is the mod asking “was this their fault?”

What happened	Counts as
Fired	fully their fault, full damage
Divorce, broken engagement	partly theirs, 60% damage
Laid off	not their fault, 25% damage

So a parent is far gentler about a layoff than about being sacked, without you doing anything. A layoff from a Harsh Non-negotiable parent still lands softer than being fired does from an even-handed one.

Small steps

A grade going up to D or C is progress. It is not an achievement. Same with the first few rungs of a career.

A warm or even-handed parent is pleased, in their own smaller words.
A parent who is Critical or Harsh says nothing at all. To them a C is not news.

Nothing gets remembered when they stay quiet, so that same parent still reacts normally to the next real step up. A grade reaching B or A, or a career level 6 or higher, is always real news to everybody.

Money is treated differently on purpose

A parent only counts their child’s money if they do not live together. Money in one household is shared, so a parent congratulating their child for money that is partly their own would be silly.

Each of the three milestones is reacted to once per parent, and never again.

The wedding depends on who they married

The mod checks what the parent thinks of the new spouse:

−20 or below (they do not get on): a different, colder set of messages. The marriage is still what they wanted. The person is not.
Never met them: different again. Good news arriving from a distance.
Otherwise: the normal wedding messages.

Part 3: approval, pressure, and the hidden maths

This is the part that makes two families play differently, so here is exactly how it works.

Approval: what the parent feels

Runs from −100 to +100. It shows as a label on the relationship panel:

Approval	Label
−100 to −61	Given Up
−60 to −21	Disappointed
−20 to +19	no label at all
+20 to +59	Proud
+60 to +100	Devoted

The middle has no label on purpose. An ordinary parent with no strong feelings should not have a badge announcing it.

The full sum for one event:

event weight × level strength (0.4 / 0.7 / 1.0 / 1.3) × 20, and on bad news also × blame × your parent setting (1.5 down to 0.3)

A worked example. Two mothers, both with Career at Non-negotiable, and the child gets fired:

Harsh mother: full event, full blame, 1.5 harshness, at 1.3 level strength. Approval falls about 31 points. She can drop a whole band from one event.
Unconditional mother: the same event, but 0.3. Approval falls about 6 points. She is disappointed. She is not going anywhere.

Same child, same day, same job. Completely different family.

Pressure: what the child carries

Runs from 0 to 100. Four bands:

Pressure	The child
0 to 24	feels nothing from this parent
25 to 49	is aware of it
50 to 74	is weighed down (moodlet)
75 to 100	is crushed (moodlet, and it names what it is mostly about)

This is stored per parent, so a child can be crushed by their father and completely relaxed with their mother.

Bad news adds pressure. Good news normally takes it away. The child did the thing, and it counted.

Except at Non-negotiable. There, succeeding adds pressure instead of relieving it, because that parent simply expects the next thing. This is the single meanest mechanic in the mod and it is only at the top level. At every other level, doing well genuinely helps.

How strict the parent is cuts both ways:

Parent	Pressure they add	Relief they give
Harsh	×1.5	×0.5
Critical	×1.25	×0.75
Even-handed	×1.0	×1.0
Supportive	×0.75	×1.25
Unconditional	×0.5	×1.5

Look at the two ends. A harsh parent hits hard and gives almost nothing back, so pressure piles up. An unconditional parent barely adds anything and puts it properly to rest when things go well, so pressure never takes hold at all. That is why the two families feel so different over a few Sim weeks.

The five hidden adjustments

On top of all that, bad news only gets these extra nudges. They never apply to good news, and they never apply at all if the parent does not care about that area.

1. Being wanted for everything at once (up to +8) Add +2 for every other area this parent holds at “strongly expects it” or higher. A parent who demands one thing is survivable. A parent who demands all five is a different childhood. The area the news is actually about is not counted twice.

2. Being close to them (+3) Friendship 50 or higher adds 3. A child who is close to a parent cares more about letting them down. This is the sad one: a good relationship makes the disappointment land harder, not softer.

3. The child’s own traits (+3 or −3) This is the bit people ask about most, so here is exactly what it is:

Perfectionist, Ambitious or Gloomy: +3. They take it harder.
Self-Assured, Goofball or Independent: −3. It rolls off them.

Base game traits only, so every player gets this. It is a nudge, not a shield. A Self-Assured child of a Harsh Non-negotiable parent still ends up crushed eventually. They just take longer to get there. If you want a child who genuinely does not care what their parent thinks, those traits plus a parent set low is how you build them.

4. Emotional Control (−3) If you own Parenthood, a child with Emotional Control at 60 or higher copes better. Without the pack, nothing happens and nothing breaks. You will never see a missing feature.

5. Everything above is per parent. Two parents pushing the same child both add their own pressure on their own track.

How pressure fades

It fades by itself, but slowly, and this is the thing people most often report as a bug.

Nothing at all happens for the first 12 Sim hours after the last change.
After that it drops by about 10 points a Sim day.

A child at the very top of Crushed (100) needs the 12-hour wait, then roughly 2 and a half quiet Sim days of fading to reach Weighed Down, about 3 days in all. A child just inside Crushed (75) leaves that band a little after the 12-hour wait. Each new reaction resets the wait. If another reaction comes before it ends, pressure does not start fading. That is the trap working as intended, not the mod being stuck.

Two things bring it down faster: the parent using Ease My Expectations, and the child pushing back.

A paused pair never fades at all. That is deliberate, so a family you froze for a story stays exactly where you left it.

What each side can see

The two screens deliberately say different things.

The child’s screen is blunt. It gives them their band, and when they are Crushed it names the area it is mostly about.
The parent’s screen is vague. A parent gets an impression, not a readout. They do not get to see a number telling them how much they are crushing their child.

What the child knows

A child does not automatically know what their parents expect. It is tracked separately, one area at a time.

They find out by being told, by asking, or by the parent reacting out loud to something. So “What They Expect of Me” is often shorter than what the parent actually set, and that gap is real. A child can be under pressure about something nobody has ever said out loud to them.

The one word summary

Each parent gets a plain name from their average level plus whether they are warm or cold: Strict, Demanding, Encouraging, Stern, Balanced, Caring, Distant, Hands-off, Easygoing.

It is only a label to read at a glance. Nothing in the mod behaves differently because of it.

Part 4: siblings

Golden Child and Black Sheep

You never set these. They are worked out from approval, and all three of these have to be true at once:

one child at +40 or above
another child at −20 or below
at least 60 points between them

When that happens one gets Golden Child and the other gets Black Sheep, and three conversations open up around it. Bring the approval closer together and both labels quietly disappear. Pause a child and they drop out of the comparison completely. So does a child who has died. If two children are held exactly level at the top or the bottom, one of them gets the label.

It is per parent. A father can have a golden child while the mother has no favourite at all.

Part 5: the conversations

21 of them, plus two Express menus, in the Family Expectations wedge when you click a family member. Sims never start these conversations on their own. They only happen when you choose them.

Parents can tell a child what they expect, praise them, express disappointment, encourage them, ease off, apologise for pushing too hard, compare them to a sibling, ask about their love life, discuss suitable partners, and ask them to reconsider their partner. The two Express menus, “Express Approval For…” and “Express Disapproval For…”, let a parent approve or disapprove of one area at a time: Education, Career Success, Marriage, Children or Financial Success. Only areas where the parent holds an expectation are offered. The five areas of one Express menu share one 3 Sim hour wait.

Children can ask what is expected of them, ask if their parent is proud, push back, discuss their future, ask to be trusted, say it is too much, say they can choose for themselves, say they are not the same as their sibling, ask to stop being compared, say they will choose their own partner, and ask their parent to stay out of it.

Each has two or three ways it can go, decided by what that parent is like and how the child is doing. A warm parent actually listens. A harsh one brushes it off. Every ending has its own notification and usually a moodlet.

Conversations only appear when they make sense. Most need at least one expectation set. Some need a certain level. The sibling ones only show up where there really is a favourite. Four marriage conversations, “Ask About Love Life”, “Discuss Suitable Partners”, “I’ll Choose My Partner” and “Ask to Stay Out of It”, only show for a grown child who is not engaged or married. That parent must also expect marriage at “strongly expects it” or higher. “Ask to Reconsider Partner” only shows for a grown child who is engaged or married to someone that parent does not get on with. This is the same rule as the colder wedding messages above. Each one can be used again after 3 Sim hours with the same pair.

Part 6: Storyteller Tools

On every child’s screen, for players who would rather set the story than play it out:

Set Parent View and Set Child Feelings: put approval and pressure exactly where you want
Set Expectations: set all five areas to one level at once
Set Their Reaction: what kind of parent they are
Make Event Happen: pick any of 17 life events and every parent reacts as if it really happened
Exact Values: the actual stored numbers if you like seeing them
Pause Changes Here / for This Sim / for This Household: “Pause Changes Here” pauses one parent and child. “Pause for This Sim” pauses every parent-and-child pair that Sim is part of, with their children and with their own parents. Pausing a parent this way does not pause the child’s pair with the other parent. “Pause for This Household” pauses every pair anyone living in that household is part of. Automatic reactions stop and pressure does not fade. Your settings and the existing approval labels stay. A paused child leaves the sibling comparison (see Golden Child and Black Sheep) and loses their Golden Child or Black Sheep label. With two children, both labels come off. “Compare to Your Sibling”, “Ask to Stop Comparing Me” and “I’m Not the Same” are not offered for that child until you resume. Your other conversations still work. “Resume Changes” resumes one parent and child at a time.
Forget This Pair: wipes everything the mod holds about that parent and child, labels and cooldowns included. It warns you first, and it cannot be undone.

Part 7: the practical stuff

Languages

Every language slot is filled, so nothing shows up blank whatever language your game is in. The text is English for now, so a French game shows English words rather than empty boxes. Translations are welcome and everything players read lives in the package’s string table.

Other mods

The mod does not replace or override anything the game ships, so it will not fight with mods that do.

MC Command Center: fine together. Things you change through MCCC are picked up like anything else.
Lumpinou’s mods: nothing collides. If another mod builds families in its own way, just check the parent and child show up properly on the Family Expectations screens.
SimRealist SNB: money reads ordinary household funds, not bank accounts. Money in an SNB account does not count toward the milestones.
Lot 51 Core is required.

If you do hit a clash, tell me which mod and what you saw.

Your save

Everything the mod stores lives on the relationships between your Sims, inside the game’s own save. There is no extra file to lose and no hidden household. A family you never touch is never written to.

If you uninstall: every Sim, relationship, household and simoleon is untouched. What goes is the mod’s own settings, because only the mod can read them. If you play and save without it installed, those settings are gone for good, so keep a backup save if you are only testing.

If something looks wrong

I cannot find Family Expectations in the menu. Check both files are in Mods no more than one folder deep, script mods are allowed, and Lot 51 Core is installed. Then check you clicked the Sim you are playing and went through Actions… The Sim also needs a parent or a child in the game.

I set expectations and nothing ever happens. Check three things. First, is the level above “does not matter”? Even “would prefer it” produces a mild reaction. Below “non-negotiable”, the parent does not always speak up. The lower the level, the more often they stay quiet, even though approval and pressure still change. At “non-negotiable”, the notification always shows. Second, does the parent hear the news (living together, or friendship 15+)? Third, does the parent care about what happened? A promotion does nothing if Career is set to “does not matter”.

Only one parent reacted. That is the mod working. The other one does not care about that area, is out of touch, has died, or is paused. And if it was a small step up, a Critical or Harsh parent says nothing by design.

My Sim got a C and nobody said anything. A C is a small step. Warm parents comment. Critical and Harsh parents do not. Get a B and everyone reacts.

My Sim is rich and their parents have not noticed. Money only counts when the parent and child live in different households. Each milestone is also only reacted to once ever.

The pressure will not go down. It does nothing for 12 Sim hours after the last change, then drops about 10 points a Sim day. If the parent keeps reacting, that timer keeps resetting. Use Ease My Expectations, or have the child push back, or pause the pair. A paused pair never fades at all, on purpose.

My child did well and the pressure went UP. That parent has that area at Non-negotiable. At that level nothing is ever enough, and success just raises the bar. Drop them to “strongly expects it” and success will start relieving pressure instead.

My child has a resilient trait and is still getting crushed. Traits are a nudge of 3 points, not immunity. A Self-Assured child of a harsh, demanding parent still gets there, just slower.

Nobody has Golden Child or Black Sheep. You need two or more living children, one at +40 or higher, one at −20 or lower, and at least 60 points between them. Use Storyteller Tools to push them apart and the labels appear.

There is no approval label at all on this relationship. Anything between −20 and +19 has no label. That is normal. The middle is deliberately unbadged.

No conversations show up when I click a family member. Most need at least one expectation set first, and each one has its own conditions on top. They also have a 3 Sim hour cooldown per pair, and the tooltip tells you when that is why.

A moodlet will not go away. Most last 8 to 12 Sim hours. Three short ones last 4 hours (“No Clear Answer”, “Knows Where They Stand” and “Taken Aback”). The three biggest moments last a full Sim day (“Crushed by Expectations”, “Given Up” and “Nothing but Proud”). They wear off on their own. If your Sim gets the same moodlet again, its timer starts over. Nothing in the mod removes them early, including Forget This Pair.

The child’s screen is empty but I set things as the parent. Correct, and intended. A child only sees what they have learned. Have them ask, have the parent tell them, or wait for the parent to react out loud to something.

Text is missing or shows as a code. The package did not load, or it is a different version from the script. Check both files match and no older copy is sitting somewhere else in Mods.

Can I add it to a save I already have? Yes. Nothing happens to any family until you set an expectation for them.

Does it work with teens, elders, ghosts, pets? Teens and older take part. Elders are parents like anyone else. Step-parents count on both sides. Dead parents stop reacting completely. Pets are not part of it.

Will my settings survive an update? Yes. Everything in the mod has a fixed identity that never changes between versions, and the saved data records which version wrote it. A future version converts old data instead of misreading it, and anything it does not understand it leaves completely alone.

Credits

Made by Maplebell. Uses the Lot 51 Core Library by Lot 51.

Version 1.1. If something goes wrong, tell me what happened, what you expected instead, and which Sims were involved. If the game wrote Mods\Maplebell_FamilyExpectations\family_expectations.log, send it along.

Part 2 of 2

New in 1.1

1.0 gave parents opinions. 1.1 gives their children a voice.

Your teen has been crushed by their father’s expectations for days. Now they can finally walk up to him and say something. He might listen. He might not. They might give in, or they might rebel and set out to prove him wrong. Years later, when he is gone, they can stand at his grave and let it go.

Meanwhile their mother sends §10,000 when they get married, their parents argue about them behind closed doors, and their brother tells them what Dad said when they were not in the room.

That is 1.1: twelve new features, all about what it is like to grow up under someone’s expectations, and what you do about it.

What is new, at a glance

University. Degrees, dropouts, Honors and full rides are family news now, with seven new talks about university.
Childhood history. The mod remembers what growing up under each parent left behind.
Something to Prove. Write off the wrong child and they will work harder to prove you wrong.
Breaking Point. Crushed for too long, a child finally faces the parent: talk, give in, or rebel.
Making peace. A grown child can let go of a hard parent who has died.
Trust. The child’s own verdict on each parent, from “My Safe Place” to “No Trust Left”.
Money Talks. Proud parents send money. The child can say thank you, or send it back.
Parents Talking. Parents discuss their child, compare hopes, boast to friends and vent to family. A teen can complain to one parent about the other.
Promises. “Do well at school and you get a new computer.” Then the parent has to keep it.
The Last Word. When a parent dies, what they thought of the child is the last thing the child feels.
Sibling Solidarity. Brothers and sisters can stand together against a parent, or take the parent’s side.
A Life Without Children. A grown child tells a parent who wants grandchildren that there will not be any.

Everything connects. A rebel at Breaking Point can come out with something to prove. A parent who takes their child’s side becomes a softer parent for good. A hard childhood is what makes peace possible later, and the trust a child builds over a lifetime decides how they remember a parent who dies. Each feature ends with Where it leads, and Ways to play puts them together.

What has not changed: nothing happens behind your back. Sims never start any of this on their own; every talk, card and gift happens because you chose it. Moodlets and news reactions still arrive by themselves, as in 1.0. It is all still base game.

How to read this guide

Each feature has the same parts:

Where to find it: which Sim you control, which Sim you click, which menu.
When it shows up: what has to be true for the entry to appear. If an entry is missing, the answer is here.
How it plays out: every way it can go, and what makes each one more likely.
Timing: how long things last and how long you wait.
Where it leads: what it changes in the other features.

Names in square brackets, like [Child] or [Parent], stand for your own Sims. If you want the exact sizes behind “a lot” and “a little”, they are in The numbers near the end.

The basics, in one place

These are the 1.0 words the whole update is built on.

How much a parent cares about an area (Education, Career Success, Marriage, Children, Financial Success): “Does not matter”, “Would prefer it”, “Considers it important”, “Strongly expects it”, “Non-negotiable”. “Cares about” in this guide means “Would prefer it” or higher. A parent who does not care about an area never reacts to it, and none of its features show.
How a parent takes setbacks (“Setbacks” on the parent’s screen, “Set Their Reaction” in Storyteller Tools): Unconditional, Supportive, Even-handed, Critical, Harsh. In this guide, warm means Supportive or Unconditional, and harsh means Critical or Harsh.
How the parent feels about the child (approval), shown as labels on the parent’s relationship panel: “Devoted”, “Proud”, no label (“Neither proud nor ashamed”), “Disappointed”, “Given Up”.
How heavily the child feels it (pressure), from one parent: no burden, knows what they expect, “Weighed Down by Expectations” (50 or more) and “Crushed by Expectations” (75 or more). Pressure fades by itself, slowly, once a parent stops pushing.
Friendship is the game’s own friendship bar. The mod uses two marks: 15 or more means they are in touch (a parent who lives elsewhere hears the child’s news), and 50 or more means they are close.
Living elsewhere means in a different household.
The household you play means the Sims you can control right now.
The 3 Sim hour wait. After a talk, the same two Sims cannot have that talk again for 3 Sim hours. The entry shows greyed: “[Sim] and [Sim] have already talked about this recently.”
Storyteller Tools and Exact Values. Control the parent, click them, “Actions…”, “Family Expectations…”, pick the child, then “Storyteller Tools”. (From the child’s side: “My parents”, the parent, “About This Parent”, “Storyteller Tools”.) “Exact Values” in there shows every number the mod holds for that parent and child.
Pause. A paused parent and child get no automatic changes from anything, old or new. Childhood history and Trust do not move at all on a paused pair, not even from a talk you click.
Forget This Pair clears everything the mod holds for that parent and child, including everything 1.1 adds, except the Breaking Point build-up, which belongs to the child alone.

Where everything is

Where you click	Entry	Feature
The Sim you control, top page of their menu	“Deal With the Pressure” (only while “At Breaking Point”)	Breaking Point
The Sim you control, “Actions…”	“Family Expectations…” (the 1.0 screens, with new rows in Storyteller Tools)	all
	“Reflect on a Parent”	Making peace
	“Send a Gift”	Money Talks
	“Keep a Promise”, “Take Back a Promise”	Promises
Another Sim, “Family Expectations” wedge	“University Talks” (a sub-menu of seven talks)	University
	“Open Up About a Parent”	Making peace
	“Discuss Our Child”, “Compare Hopes”, “Complain About a Parent”, “Boast About”, “Vent About”, “Tell [Child] What [Parent] Said”	Parents Talking
	“Promises…”, “Keep the Promise”, “Take Back a Promise”	Promises
	“Talk About Our Parents”	Sibling Solidarity
	“No Plans for a Bigger Family”	A Life Without Children
A grave or an urn	“Let Go of Hurt From [Parent]”	Making peace
Storyteller Tools	“Set Child’s Trust”, “Set Upbringing”, new rows in “Exact Values”, university rows in “Make Event Happen”	Trust, Childhood history, Breaking Point, Promises, University
Nothing to click	the news, childhood history, Something to Prove, Trust, The Last Word

When an entry has only one Sim to offer, it names them instead of showing a list, for example “Reflect on [Parent]” or “Send [Child] a Gift”.

1. University

A degree is family news now.

Graduate with Honors and a parent who cares about Education is prouder than for a plain degree. Win a full ride and they hear about it. Drop out, or go pro with the university soccer or e-sports team, and they hear about that too.

Your student can tell a parent how university is really going, defend the subject they chose, or explain a bad term. A parent can say which subject they hoped for, and that hope colors the talks that follow. Study what they wanted and even a harsh parent is pleased. Pick Fine Art when they hoped for Economics and see how that goes.

Where to find it. The news needs nothing from you. The talks are in the “University Talks” sub-menu inside the “Family Expectations” wedge.

When it shows up. The news comes from real play with Discover University: graduating, graduating with Honors, a full ride, getting back in good standing after probation or suspension, and dropping out. Each parent who cares about Education and hears the news reacts, as they do to grades. Going pro with the university soccer or e-sports team ends the degree the same way as dropping out, so the parents hear “dropped out”. Probation and suspension themselves never react on their own (the game can hand them out for grades that were not the student’s fault); you can make them happen by hand.

Every talk needs the parent to care about Education.

Talk	Who clicks whom	Shows when
“My Degree, My Decision”	the student on a parent	a young adult or older with a subject right now (enrolled, between terms, on probation or suspended)
“Ask How University Is Going”	a parent on the student	the same
“Share How University Is Going”	the student on a parent	the same
“Explain a Difficult Term”	the student on a parent	the game has them on probation or suspended
“University Isn’t My Plan”	a teen or older on a parent	not a student and no degree, and the parent “Strongly expects it” or more
“Talk About the Degree I Earned”	a graduate on a parent	they hold a university degree (the Mixologist Certification does not count)
“Discuss My Preferred Subject”	a parent on a teen or older child	you own Discover University

Without Discover University, “University Isn’t My Plan” is the one talk that shows, for any teen or older.

How it plays out.

“Discuss My Preferred Subject”. The parent picks the subject they hope for from “[Parent]’s Hopes for [Child]’s Studies”, or “No Preferred Subject”. Nothing else changes, but the hope is remembered. Closing the list without picking is free: the talk is not used up.
“My Degree, My Decision”. It goes one of three ways. If the student studies what this parent hoped for, they see eye to eye, whatever kind of parent it is. If the parent hoped for a different subject, a warm parent accepts the choice and the child feels “My Own Decision”; a harsh one will not hear a word of it (“Not Listening”). If the parent never named a subject, it goes like any talk about the future: well with a warm parent, less well with a harsh one.
“Ask How University Is Going” and “Share How University Is Going”. With a warm parent, an easy talk (“Glad We Talked”). A child who is already weighed down may finally say how hard it is and feel heard, and the pressure eases. A strict parent seems more interested in success than in how the child feels, and the pressure climbs.
“Explain a Difficult Term”. A warm parent reminds them one hard term is not the whole story (“Encouraged”). A harsh one hears only excuses.
“University Isn’t My Plan”. A warm parent accepts it (“My Own Decision”). A harsh one refuses to.
“Talk About the Degree I Earned”. The same three ways as “My Degree, My Decision”, now about the finished degree: the hoped-for subject brings pride, a different one is respected by a warm parent and dismissed by a harsh one, and no hope set goes by the kind of parent.

Timing. Every talk has the 3 Sim hour wait. Most news reaches the parents straight away. If the student is not on the lot you are playing, some news can wait until the next loading screen after travelling, or the next time their classes change. News is never told during a save; it waits for the next loading screen. Graduating counts once, even though the game announces it twice, and a full ride is news only once for each parent.

Where it leads. Every talk shows the child how much this parent cares about Education. “Not Listening” can light Something to Prove (section 3). Graduating, with or without Honors, can bring a gift from a proud parent who lives elsewhere (section 7), and can make a school promise come due (section 9). The talks move Trust (section 6).

Storyteller Tools. “Make Event Happen” has seven new rows: “[Child] Graduates from University”, “… with Honors”, “[Child] Drops Out of University”, “[Child] Is Suspended from University”, “[Child] Is Put on Academic Probation”, “[Child] Receives a Full Ride to University” and “[Child] Is Back in Good Standing at University”.

2. Childhood history

The mod remembers how they were raised.

Every time a parent piles pressure on a child or teen, some of it stays. It lands harder on a young child, harder again when they were already crushed, and softer when the other parent is in their corner. Kindness in the teen years can soften it, but never by more than half. By the time they grow up, every child has an upbringing with each parent: Easy, Trying, Hard or Crushing.

Where to find it. Nothing to click. “Exact Values” shows it, in the row “What childhood with them left behind”, for example “85 (Trying upbringing)”.

When it shows up. It grows only while the child is a child or a teen. A Sim who was already grown when you installed 1.1 reads “Easy upbringing” for good.

How it plays out.

Upbringing	Number in “Exact Values”	The kind of parent that usually leads here
Easy upbringing	below 50	a warm parent
Trying upbringing	50 to 119	a strict but fair parent
Hard upbringing	120 to 179	a harsh parent, with a warm parent beside them
Crushing upbringing	180 and up	a harsh parent, alone

What makes each push count for more, or less:

Younger counts more. A push while a grade-schooler counts more than one as a teen.
Already crushed counts more. A push while the child is already “Crushed by Expectations”, by anyone, counts more.
Someone in their corner counts less. If another parent or step-parent is warm toward the child (Supportive or Unconditional), every push counts for half. A parent who has died does not count.
Getting used to it. Once it reaches Hard, each new push adds less.
Kindness heals. In the teen years, each kind moment from that parent softens it a little: “Praise Them”, “Express Approval For…”, “Offer Encouragement”, “Ease My Expectations”, “Ask to Be Trusted” when they say yes, any apology, and a Breaking Point talk that goes well. It never heals below half of the worst it ever reached, and the grade-school years only ever add.

Timing. It never fades on its own. Pause freezes it completely.

Where it leads. A Hard or Crushing upbringing is what opens making peace after that parent dies (section 5). A parent who keeps taking the child’s side in Parents Talking (section 8) grows warmer, and a warm parent is the one in the child’s corner.

Storyteller Tools. “Set Upbringing” lets you pick any of the four upbringings, to tell the childhood your way. It sets the worst it ever reached too, so kindness can heal down from there.

3. Something to Prove

Write off the wrong child and watch what happens.

Some children break when a parent puts them down. Others get angry and get to work. A teen or older with fire in them who is written off, compared to a sibling, put in their place or made the Black Sheep gets “Something to Prove”: for a while they learn every skill faster and do better at work and school.

Where to find it. Nothing to click. It arrives beside the hurt.

When it shows up. The child must be a teen or older and have the fire in them. In the base game that is Ambitious, Self-Assured, Hot-Headed, Independent or Unhappy Infant. If you own them, Parenthood (the Rebellious phase, or Emotional Control or Responsibility high, or Conflict Resolution low), Growing Together (Headstrong, or a Strict or Difficult family dynamic with that parent) and High School Years (Overachiever) add more ways in. Then one of these has to happen:

a talk ends in “Written Off”, “Put in Their Place”, “Compared Again”, “Never Good Enough” or “Not Listening” (from “Ask If They Are Proud”, “Compare to Your Sibling”, “Ask to Stop Comparing Me”, “I’m Not the Same”, “It’s Too Much”, “I’ll Choose My Partner”, or a university talk with a parent who will not listen);
they become a parent’s Black Sheep;
they choose “Rebel” at Breaking Point;
the old anger flares while making peace (“Old Anger Stirred”).

Everyone else just feels hurt, as in 1.0.

How it plays out. The fire has three strengths. It starts mild, and each of these makes it one step stronger: a harsh parent, a close bond with that parent (friendship 50 or more), and a fiery temper (Hot-Headed, Self-Assured, Unhappy Infant or the Rebellious phase).

How many of the three	Moodlet
none or one	“Something to Prove” (mild)
two	“Something to Prove” (stronger)
all three	“Fierce Determination”

While it burns, every skill is learned faster and job and school performance rise faster; the stronger the fire, the bigger the boost. When it first lights, their job and school performance get a push straight away.

Timing. It lasts 12 Sim hours. One fire at a time: a stronger one replaces a weaker one, a weaker one changes nothing while a stronger one burns, and the same strength again starts its 12 hours over. The push comes once, when it lights.

Good to know. The child’s mood may still show Sad or Angry, because the hurt sits beside it; the boost works whatever the mood. A promotion, a demotion, quitting or leaving the lot can end the work part of the boost early; the skills keep it.

Where it leads. Breaking Point’s “Rebel” (section 4), university talks that go badly (section 1) and making peace’s old anger (section 5) can all light it. A child can even become the Black Sheep without a word said to them, when a parent’s view of a sibling rises. Sending back a gift does not light it.

4. Breaking Point

Pressure finally does something.

A child or teen who stays crushed long enough hits a wall. They get “At Breaking Point”, and from then on it is your call. Walk them up to the parent who is doing this and have it out.

Where to find it. Control the child, click them, and choose “Deal With the Pressure” on the top page of their own pie menu. Pick the parent (“Choose a parent to face.”). If that parent is here, the child walks over, they start talking, and the card “Something Has to Give” opens during the conversation. A parent who is not on the lot gets the card straight away, without the walk.

When it shows up.

Building up. A child or teen who is “Crushed by Expectations” slowly builds toward breaking point. “Crushed” lasts about a Sim day after the last big push, so it takes a parent pushing about once a day. After about 4 Sim days of being crushed, the child gets “At Breaking Point”.
Who is listed. Every living parent or step-parent who weighs on the child (“Weighed Down” or “Crushed”, 50 or more), unless the pair is paused or that parent was already faced this time. A parent who has died is never listed.
The entry shows only while the child has “At Breaking Point” and at least one parent can be faced.

How it plays out.

“Talk to Them”, and they listen. The pressure from that parent eases a lot, the parent thinks a little better of the child, the child feels “Easier to Breathe”, and their Trust grows more than from any other single moment.
“Talk to Them”, and they do not. The pressure gets a little worse, Trust drops, and a second card, “It Did Not Go Well”, asks again: “Give In”, “Rebel” or “Not Now”.
“Give In”. The pressure stays. The parent is pleased and thinks better of the child. The child feels “Gave In” and trusts them a little less.
“Rebel”. The pressure from that parent drops a lot. The parent thinks less of the child. The child feels “Done Giving In”, trusts them less, and, with the fire in them, gets Something to Prove.
“Not Now”. Nothing happens. The child keeps “At Breaking Point” and can try again. The card’s X does the same.

Who listens. First, how the parent takes setbacks: a warm parent listens about 9 times in 10, an even-handed one half the time, a harsh one about 1 time in 13. Then these nudge it, up or down, but never to certain or impossible:

More likely to listen	Less likely to listen
they are close (friendship 50 or more)	they are not close (below 15)
the parent is “Devoted” or “Proud”	the parent is “Disappointed” or “Given Up”
the parent is Cheerful	the parent is Hot-Headed or Hates Children
the child is Self-Assured, Outgoing, Cheerful or Good	the child is Hot-Headed, Gloomy, Mean or a Loner
the child trusts them (“Can Lean on Them”, “My Safe Place”)	the child does not (“Feels Judged”, “No Trust Left”)

Two parents. After facing one, the child can face the other straight away. “At Breaking Point” goes, and the build-up starts again from nothing, once everyone on the list has been faced, or once nobody is left to face.

Timing.

“At Breaking Point” lasts 3 Sim days if you do nothing. It does not restart when the build-up refills. If it runs out while the child is still crushed, it comes back only after they stop being crushed for a while and get crushed again.
Once the pushing stops, the build-up drains completely in about 3 Sim days.
While the child is still crushed but nobody can be faced (every parent paused, forgotten, gone, or below 50), the build-up holds: it neither fills nor drains.
While the child is away from the lot, it waits.
The results (“Easier to Breathe”, “Gave In”, “Done Giving In”) last 1 Sim day.
A teen who grows up keeps “At Breaking Point” until it runs out, but the entry is gone.

Where it leads. “Rebel” can light Something to Prove (section 3). “Rebel” and “Give In” change how the parent sees the child, so Golden Child and Black Sheep can change on the spot. Every answer moves Trust (section 6). A talk that goes well also softens the childhood history, and every push is recorded in it (section 2).

Storyteller Tools. A new “Exact Values” row, “How close the child is to breaking point”, for example “62 of 100 (filling)”. “Filling” means crushed and someone can be faced; “held” means crushed but nobody can be faced; “not filling” means not crushed (it drains); “At breaking point” means the moodlet is on. It is the child’s own, so every parent’s screen shows the same.

5. Making peace with a parent who has died

Some things only get said at a grave.

A grown child who had a hard childhood with a parent does not stop carrying it when that parent dies. Now they can put it down. They can sit with it alone, open up to a sibling or a friend who hugs them, or go to the grave and let it go.

Where to find it. Three ways, each one clicked by you:

Alone: control the child, click them, “Actions…”, “Reflect on a Parent”.
With someone close: control the child, click the person, then “Open Up About a Parent” in the “Family Expectations” wedge.
At the grave: click the parent’s grave or urn, then “Let Go of Hurt From [Parent]” at the top of its menu.

When it shows up. All of these must be true:

the child is a young adult or older;
their parent or step-parent has died (a ghost kept in the household counts the same);
their upbringing with that parent was Hard or Crushing (section 2);
the pair is not paused, and the child is not already at peace with that parent.

The person they open up to must be a teen or older, and family (a parent, a brother or sister, half and step included, a grandparent) or a friend, good friend or best friend. A partner they are engaged or married to, or their own child, counts when their friendship is 50 or more.

How it plays out.

At the grave: always peace. The visit lasts as long as the game’s own mourning, and peace comes when it ends. Cancel it and nothing happens.
Opening up to someone close: always peace, and the two of them grow a little closer. They hug.
Reflecting alone is less certain. Half the time it brings peace. Otherwise the old anger flares (“Old Anger Stirred”) or it leaves them sad but carrying a little less (“Less to Carry”), each a quarter of the time. A Cheerful, Goofball or Romantic Sim is twice as likely to find peace, a Hot-Headed or Mean one twice as likely to get angry, a Gloomy one three times as likely to end sad.

Result	Moodlet	What it changes
at peace	“Old Expectations Lifted”	the pressure from that parent is gone
still angry	“Old Anger Stirred”	nothing eases; Something to Prove, with the fire in them
sad but lighter	“Less to Carry”	the pressure from that parent eases a little

Every result shows a “Making Peace” message.

Timing. The moodlets last 3 Sim days. Anger or sadness can be tried again; peace, once found, stays, even if the parent comes back to life. The game clears a dead Sim nobody plays about four Sim weeks after death, and the chance goes with them, so a parent who dies while the child is still a teen may be gone before the child grows up. A ghost kept in the household stays.

Where it leads. Old anger can light Something to Prove (section 3). How the parent felt, Trust and the childhood history do not change. When the parent died, the child already got the Last Word (section 10); this is what they do with it, when you choose.

6. Trust

Now the child gets an opinion too.

Approval is what a parent thinks of the child. Trust is what the child thinks of the parent: can I turn to them? Every kind answer adds a little, every hurtful one takes some away, and it never drifts on its own.

And it matters. A parent the child trusts is more likely to be heard at Breaking Point, to get a thank you for a gift, to be listened to when the child complains, and it shapes how the child remembers them when they die.

Where to find it. Nothing to click. It shows as a label on the child’s relationship panel, beside the parent, and in “Exact Values” as “How much the child trusts them”, for example “+34 (Can Lean on Them)”.

When it shows up. Everyone starts in the middle, with no label. It moves only when the child lives through a parent’s answer: a talk, a Breaking Point card, a gift, a promise, a complaint. A parent’s view falling on its own does not touch it. Most talks need a teen or older, so a grade-schooler’s Trust moves only through Breaking Point, promises and “Complain About a Parent”.

How it plays out. From best to worst:

Label	What it means
“My Safe Place”	the child feels safe turning to this parent with anything
“Can Lean on Them”	the child feels able to turn to them for support
no label	neither trusting nor wary
“Feels Judged”	the child expects criticism and holds things back
“No Trust Left”	the child no longer trusts them or asks for support

What moves it:

Everyday kindness raises it a little: the warm answers to the 1.0 talks (being praised, encouraged, reassured, glad they asked, finally saying it), a parent who takes their side, a university talk that goes well, a kept promise.
Rarer kindness raises it more: “Finally Eased Off”, “Trusted at Last”, “Forgiven”, a gift thanked.
The biggest steps up: a Breaking Point talk that goes well, and a parent who accepts a life without children.
Everyday hurt lowers it a little: being put in their place, compared again, not listened to, treated like a kid, giving in at Breaking Point, being brushed aside.
Deep hurt lowers it more: “Written Off”, “Never Good Enough”, “Pushed Too Far”, a Breaking Point talk that goes badly, a promise taken back, hearing what a parent said behind their back. Rebelling at Breaking Point costs the most of all.
Mixed answers move nothing: “Waiting for the Catch”, “Too Late for Sorry”, “Stood Up for Myself”, “No Clear Answer”.

Everyday kindness alone cannot carry a child into “My Safe Place”: it stops adding just below it. Once the child is there, everyday kindness tops it up again. Getting there takes one of the bigger moments.

Timing. It never drifts and never fades, and it keeps moving after the child grows up. Pause freezes it completely.

Where it leads. Breaking Point’s odds (section 4), the answer to a gift (section 7), how a parent hears a complaint (section 8), and the Last Word (section 10). It never locks or unlocks a talk.

Storyteller Tools. “Set Child’s Trust” picks one of five levels (“Neither trusting nor wary” in the middle). It works on a paused pair too.

7. Money Talks

A proud parent puts their money where their mouth is.

When the child graduates, marries, has their first baby or reaches the top of their career, a proud parent who lives elsewhere can send a gift, straight into the child’s household.

Some hours later the phone rings. If you play the child, you choose: keep it and say thanks, or send it back. If you do not, the child decides, and a child who does not trust that parent is more likely to say “I don’t want your money.” A disappointed parent sends nothing at all, and a cold note says so.

Where to find it. Control the parent, click them, “Actions…”, “Send a Gift”, and pick the child (“Choose a child to send a gift to.”).

When it shows up. After one of these four pieces of news:

graduating from university, with or without Honors;
getting married (an ordinary wedding only: not to a partner the parent does not get on with or has never met);
having their first child;
being promoted to the top level of a full career (not a part-time job or school).

The parent must hear the news and react to it (they care about that area, and they are in touch: friendship 15 or more), live elsewhere, and be “Proud” or “Devoted” after their reaction. They get “A Gift in Mind”, and “Send a Gift” shows for that child. Two proud parents in the same household each get their own chance.

How it plays out.

The gift. The card “A Gift to Celebrate [Child]”: “A Little Something” (§1,000), “A Generous Gift” (§5,000), “A Very Generous Gift” (§10,000) or “Not Now”. An amount the parent’s household cannot pay is greyed: “Not enough money to send this gift.” The money leaves the parent’s household and reaches the child’s at once, and a message says so. It does not count as money the child earned.
The call. The phone rings some hours later, in the daytime. Who it rings depends on whom you play:
- You play the child’s household: the parent calls the child. Choose “Keep It and Say Thanks” or “Send It Back”. “Send It Back” only shows while the household still has the whole gift. Ignore the call, and the child keeps the money.
- You play the parent’s household: the child decides for themselves and calls back with thanks, or with “I don’t want your money.”
How a child you are not playing decides. About 1 time in 5 they send it back when nothing pushes either way. Trust counts most (“My Safe Place” and “Can Lean on Them” toward thanks, “Feels Judged” and “No Trust Left” toward sending it back). Being close helps; being out of touch, heavy pressure from that parent, or a lit Something to Prove pushes toward sending it back. A Materialistic or Family-Oriented child leans toward thanks; a Self-Assured, Hot-Headed, Snobby or Mean one toward sending it back.
Thanks: the parent feels “Gift Appreciated” and thinks a little better of the child, and the child trusts them more.
Sent back: the money goes back to the parent at once. The parent feels “Gift Sent Back” and thinks a little less of the child.
The cold note. A parent who cares, lives elsewhere and is “Disappointed” or “Given Up” after the same news sends nothing. “No Gift From [Parent]” says so, when you play the parent or the child.

Timing.

The chance stays open for 3 Sim days; new news restarts the 3 days. “A Gift in Mind” is only the reminder: sending a gift takes it off.
The call comes 6 to 24 Sim hours after the gift, between 9 a.m. and 10 p.m. If the Sim it rings is not in the household you are playing, or is away at work, it tries again later in the day. A call that has not rung within 7 Sim days is dropped, and the child keeps the money.
“Gift Appreciated” and “Gift Sent Back” last 1 Sim day.
A paused pair’s call waits until you resume. Forget This Pair cancels the call, and the money stays with the child. If either Sim dies, there is no call, and the money stays.

Where it leads. University graduations open it (section 1). Trust shapes the answer, and a thank you builds it (section 6). The same good news can also make a promise come due (section 9).

8. Parents Talking

Parents talk. About you.

Two parents can sit down and discuss their child: hear each other out, or dig in until one of them comes round or it turns into a real fight. They can compare their hopes and settle on one set of expectations together.

A teen can go to one parent to complain about the other, and if that parent takes their side, they go easier on the child from then on. And parents talk to everyone else too: a proud one boasts to friends (and a jealous friend may have to top it), a disappointed one vents to family. If the one they vent to is the child’s brother or sister, the child may hear about it.

Where to find it. Five entries in the “Family Expectations” wedge of the Sim you click. Each asks first which child, or which parent, it is about. For the three with a card, the Sim you control walks over, they chat, and the card opens during the chat.

When it shows up.

Entry	Who clicks whom	Shows when
“Discuss Our Child”	a parent on the other parent	both are young adults or older, parents or step-parents of the same child, and live together or are engaged or married
“Compare Hopes”	the same	the same
“Complain About a Parent”	a child or teen on a parent	another parent or step-parent is hard on them: “Weighed Down” or “Crushed”, or “Disappointed” or “Given Up” in them. The two parents do not need to be together.
“Boast About”	a parent on a friend or relative	the parent cares about something for a child and is “Proud” or “Devoted”
“Vent About”	the same	the parent cares about something for a child and is “Disappointed” or “Given Up”

A friend means friendship 15 or more with the parent. A relative is anyone in the parent’s family tree: grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, in-laws, a steady partner and their family. The child talked about is never a listener. A child whose pair is paused is left off every list. A parent who has died never counts.

How it plays out.

“Discuss Our Child” opens “Talking It Over”.
- “Hear Each Other Out”: half the time they agree, and their views of the child draw a little closer; otherwise they agree to disagree, or they argue (“A Sour Conversation” on both, and their friendship suffers a little).
- “Stand by Your View”: half the time the other parent comes round, and their view of the child moves toward yours (never past it); otherwise it becomes “A Bitter Argument”, and their friendship suffers more.
- It goes better when both already see the child the same way (both proud, or both disappointed), when they are close, and when either is Family-Oriented or Good. It goes worse when they are not close, or either is Hot-Headed or Mean.
“Compare Hopes” opens “Shared Expectations”.
- “Meet in the Middle”: for each area, both settle on the level halfway between them, rounded down to the gentler one.
- “Use [Parent]’s Hopes” or “Use [Other parent]’s Hopes”: the other parent copies that parent’s levels, in the areas that parent cares about; the rest stay. Greyed when that parent expects nothing of the child yet.
- How they take setbacks is not copied, and pressure does not ease.
“Complain About a Parent” opens “Speaking Up”.
- “Just Vent”: the child feels better for saying it (“Relieved to Talk”).
- “Ask for Help About [Parent]”: the parent listening takes the child’s side (“Someone Took My Side”) or defends the other parent (“Asked but Unheard”). The odds are Breaking Point’s (section 4), with the child’s Trust in the parent listening.
“Boast About”: the listener is happy for them (“Proud Moment”). A Jealous or Snobby listener tops it 1 time in 3 (“A Little Deflated”, and their friendship dips); a close friend half as often. Boasting about the Golden Child says so.
“Vent About”: the parent feels “Letting Off Steam”. A Good listener stands up for the child 1 time in 3; a close friend half as often. Venting about the Black Sheep says so. Venting never changes the listener’s view.
Word getting back. If the listener is the child’s brother or sister (any age, half or step), that sibling gets, for 2 Sim days, “Tell [Child] What [Parent] Said” when they click the child. Use it, and the child gets “Wish I Hadn’t Heard” and trusts that parent less. Or keep it to yourselves. Only the sibling who heard sees it, and only you can make them tell.

Timing. Each of the five has its own 3 Sim hour wait between the same two Sims, so a parent can boast to one neighbour after another. Most moodlets last 8 Sim hours; “A Bitter Argument” and “Wish I Hadn’t Heard” last 1 Sim day. “Tell [Child] What [Parent] Said” lasts 2 Sim days, hides while the pair is paused, and goes once used.

Where it leads. When the parent who listens takes the child’s side, they take setbacks one step more warmly, every time, up to Unconditional. That makes them the warm parent in the child’s corner (section 2) and likelier to listen at Breaking Point (section 4). When a talk changes how a parent sees the child, Golden Child and Black Sheep can change too. The child was not there, so none of this lights Something to Prove or marks their childhood. Taking sides and word getting back move Trust (section 6).

9. Promises

“Get good grades and I’ll get you a new computer.”

A parent can promise a reward for the child’s next good news. The child gets something to aim for. When the news comes, they have earned it, and now the parent has to deliver. Keep it, and the child’s trust grows. Take it back, and they will remember that.

Where to find it. Control the parent, click the child, and open “Promises…” in the “Family Expectations” wedge. To keep or take back a promise to a child who lives elsewhere, click the parent, “Actions…”, “Keep a Promise” or “Take Back a Promise”.

When it shows up.

The parent is a young adult or older, and the child is a Child (grade-schooler) or older.
The parent cares about at least one area for this child. For a grade-schooler, only school counts. “If You Do Well With Money…” is offered only while they live in different households.
One promise at a time between a parent and a child. While one is open or due, “Promises…” shows greyed: “There is already a promise to keep or take back.”
Not on a ghost, parent or child.

How it plays out.

Make it. Pick the reward:

Menu	Rewards	For
“Promise to Be Proud”	“I’ll Be Proud of You”	every age
“Promise Money…”	§1,000, §5,000, §10,000	every age
“Promise a Gift…”	A New TV, A New Computer, A New Instrument, A Shopping Spree, A Room Makeover	every age
“Promise an Outing…”	A Holiday	every age
	A Sleepover, A Movie Night	children and teens
	A Party, A Night Out	teens

Tie it to news. The card “A Promise to [Child]” asks which part of life must bring the good news: “If You Do Well at School…”, “If You Get Ahead at Work…”, “If You Get Engaged or Marry…”, “If You Welcome a Child…” or “If You Do Well With Money…”, or “Not Now”. Only the areas the parent cares about are offered. The child gets “Something to Aim For”, the parent “A Promise to Keep”.
Earn it. When good news comes in that area and the parent reacts to it, the promise is due. The child gets “Earned It”, and a message says “[Child] has earned it. Now [Parent] has a promise to keep: …”. More good news while it is already due changes nothing; it pays once.
Keep it. “Keep the Promise” on the child (or “Keep a Promise” under “Actions…” for a child who lives elsewhere), then “Keep It”. The child gets “A Promise Kept”, the parent “Kept My Word”, and Trust grows. A promise to be proud also makes the parent prouder. Or press “Not Now”: it stays due for later.
Or break it. “Take Back a Promise”, before or after it is earned, then “Take It Back” (or “Never Mind”). The child gets “A Promise Broken”, and Trust drops.

Where the money goes.

Money, at home: added to the household.
Money, to a child who lives elsewhere: moves from the parent’s household to the child’s. If the parent cannot pay, keeping it is greyed: “[Parent] cannot make this payment right now.”
A gift, at home: yours to play out; the mod does not buy the TV.
A gift, to a child who lives elsewhere: the parent sends money toward it, from §250 to §2,000 depending on the gift.
An outing or pride: no money; yours to play out.

A parent you are not playing keeps a due promise on their own, as soon as the news comes. If their household cannot pay, they send word that it cannot be kept, and it breaks, just as if they had taken it back.

Timing. A promise has no deadline. “Earned It” lasts 3 Sim days, but the promise stays due until it is kept or taken back. On a paused pair, no news makes it due. If the parent or the child dies, the promise ends quietly, with no cost.

Where it leads. The same graduation, wedding, baby or promotion can make a promise due and open a Money Talks gift (section 7). Keeping and breaking promises builds and breaks Trust (section 6). A kept promise to be proud can change who is the Golden Child.

Storyteller Tools. “Exact Values” shows “Promise open: …” or “Promise due: …”, with the reward and the area.

10. The Last Word

What a parent thought of you does not die with them.

When a parent dies, their children feel the game’s grief, and now something more: the last word on what that parent thought of them. Proud, or never proud. Close, or never close.

Where to find it. Nothing to click. It comes at the moment of death.

When it shows up. For every living child of that parent the mod has been used for, at any age, step-children too, wherever they are. Not for a paused pair, and not for a pair the mod never touched (or one you used Forget This Pair on).

How it plays out. Two things decide it: how the parent felt about the child, and how much the child trusted them.

The parent was	The child’s Trust	Moodlet
“Proud” or “Devoted”	anything but “No Trust Left”	“Proud of Me”
“Proud” or “Devoted”	“No Trust Left”	“Proud but Distant”
“Disappointed” or “Given Up”	“Can Lean on Them” or “My Safe Place”	“Close Despite It”
“Disappointed” or “Given Up”	anything lower	“Never Made You Proud”
neither proud nor ashamed	any	nothing beyond the game’s own grief

Timing. The moodlet lasts 2 Sim days, as long as the game’s own grief. It is gentle, so the game’s grief usually sets the mood.

Where it leads. Everything before it decides it: the approval a parent built up over the years and the trust the child built up in return (section 6). For a child with a hard upbringing, making peace comes after (section 5).

11. Sibling Solidarity

You are not the only one living under that roof.

Two siblings talk about the parent who expects so much of one of them. Stand by your brother or sister, and they feel understood and a little of the pressure lifts. Take the parent’s side, and they learn that not even their sibling will back them up. Or let it drop.

Where to find it. Control a teen or older, click their brother or sister, and choose “Talk About Our Parents” in the “Family Expectations” wedge. With two parents to talk about, pick one (“Choose a parent to talk about.”). The two chat, and the card “Between Siblings” opens.

When it shows up.

Both are teens or older. A sibling who is still a grade-schooler sees it greyed: “The child must be a teen or older.”
They are brothers or sisters: full, half or step.
A living parent of both cares about something for the sibling you clicked.
Both are alive (no ghosts).

How it plays out.

“Support [Sibling]”: they grow closer, the sibling feels “Someone Gets It”, and that parent’s pressure on them eases a little.
“Take [Parent]’s Side”: they drift apart a little, and the sibling feels “Even My Sibling”.
“Leave It”: the subject drops and the conversation moves on.

Timing. The moodlets last 8 Sim hours. The two siblings wait 3 Sim hours before talking about it again, whichever parent and whichever of them clicks. On a paused pair the talk still happens, but the pressure does not ease.

Where it leads. The same brother or sister who can stand by the child can also carry word of what a parent said (section 8). Choose which kind of sibling they are.

12. A Life Without Children

The talk every parent who wants grandchildren dreads.

A grown child tells a parent who hopes for grandchildren that there will not be any, or no more. A warm parent may accept it: the pressure lifts, trust grows, and the parent sets the hope aside. A harsh one is more likely to brush it off.

Where to find it. Control the child, click the parent, and choose “No Plans for a Bigger Family” in the “Family Expectations” wedge.

When it shows up. The child is a young adult or older, and the parent or step-parent cares about Children (“Would prefer it” or more). It does not matter whether the child already has children.

How it plays out. The answer is decided by how the parent takes setbacks and how they feel about the child right now:

How they take setbacks	They accept	They try to understand	They dismiss it
Supportive or Unconditional	unless “Disappointed” or “Given Up”	when “Disappointed” or “Given Up”	never
Even-handed	when “Proud” or “Devoted”	in between	when “Disappointed” or “Given Up”
Critical or Harsh	never	when “Proud” or “Devoted”	otherwise

They accept: the child feels “Heard and Accepted”, the parent “A Hope Set Aside”, most of the pressure from that parent lifts, Trust grows by more than everyday kindness ever gives, and the parent’s Children expectation drops one level for good.
They try to understand: the child feels “Trying to Understand”, and the pressure eases a little.
They dismiss it: the child feels “Brushed Aside”, and trusts them less.

Whatever the answer, the child now knows how much this parent cares about Children. To change the answer, change the parent: make them prouder, or warmer (section 8 shows one way).

Timing. The usual 3 Sim hour wait. A parent sets the hope aside only once; accepting again shows the message, but nothing more drops. If the parent only “Would prefer it”, accepting takes it to “Does not matter”, and the entry stops showing. On a paused pair the talk gives the message and the moodlets only.

Where it leads. Being accepted is one of the few moments that can lift a child straight into “My Safe Place” (section 6). It can ease the pressure enough to end a Breaking Point (section 4).

13. Ways to play

A few families to try. Each one uses features from all over this guide, and each can go a dozen ways.

The harsh father and the rebel. Set a father to Harsh, and make school “Non-negotiable”. Let the grades pile up until his teen is crushed. At Breaking Point, try talking to him first; if he will not listen, rebel. A Hot-Headed or Self-Assured teen comes out of it with Something to Prove. Their upbringing with him ends Hard or Crushing, and when he dies, they can go to his grave and finally let it go.
Two parents, two sides. One parent warm, one harsh. The teen complains to the warm one about the harsh one, and every time the warm one takes their side, they grow warmer still, softening the harsh parent’s mark on the childhood. Then let the two parents discuss the child, and see who comes round.
The Golden Child and the Black Sheep. One parent, two children, a clear favourite. Boast about the Golden Child to the neighbours. Vent about the Black Sheep to the Golden Child, and decide whether they carry the word to their sibling or keep it to themselves. Or have the siblings talk about their parent instead, and stand together.
The parent who keeps their word. A Supportive parent promises a new computer for good grades, and keeps it. Promise money for a promotion, send a gift when they graduate. Watch the child’s trust climb toward “My Safe Place”, and when that proud parent dies, the child is left with “Proud of Me”.
The parent who does not. Make the same promises and take them back. Watch the trust fall, the gifts get sent back, and the Last Word turn into “Proud but Distant”.
A different life. A young adult tells their parents “University Isn’t My Plan”, and later that there will be “No Plans for a Bigger Family”. The warm parent accepts it. The harsh one will not hear it, and a child with fire in them sets out to prove them wrong.
You are the storyteller. Use “Set Upbringing” to give a grown Sim the childhood you imagine, “Set Child’s Trust” to decide who they turn to, and “Make Event Happen” to throw a graduation, a full ride or a dropout at the family. Pause the families you want left alone.

14. If something does not show up

“Deal With the Pressure” is missing. The child needs “At Breaking Point” (about 4 Sim days crushed), must still be a child or a teen, and needs at least one living parent at 50 or more who is not paused and not already faced. Check “How close the child is to breaking point” in “Exact Values”.
The build-up is not filling. “Held” means the child is crushed but nobody can be faced: resume a paused parent, or let a parent push again. “Not filling” means the child is not crushed right now.
No gift chance after good news. The parent must live elsewhere, hear the news (friendship 15 or more), care about that area, and be “Proud” or “Devoted” after reacting. Only the four kinds of news count, an ordinary wedding only, and the top of a full career only. The chance lasts 3 Sim days.
The gift call never came. It rings only a Sim in the household you are playing, who is not away at work, in the daytime. It keeps trying for 7 Sim days. It waits while the pair is paused.
“Promises…” is greyed. A promise is already open or due between them. Keep it or take it back first.
A promise did not come due. The parent must react to the good news (care about that area and hear it), and the news must be in the promised area. A paused pair’s promise never comes due.
No making peace entries. The child must be a young adult or older, the upbringing with that parent Hard or Crushing, the pair not paused, and not already at peace. A parent the game has cleared after death is gone for good.
A talk is greyed. Either the 3 Sim hour wait, or, for a grade-schooler, “The child must be a teen or older.”
No Trust label. Trust between -20 and 19 has no label. Pause freezes it.
“Something to Prove” did not appear. The child must be a teen or older with one of the traits or ways in (section 3), and the hurt must be one of the five, or the Black Sheep, “Rebel” or old anger.
Nobody reacted to university news. Probation and suspension never react on their own. Other news may wait for the next loading screen if the student is not on the lot.
“Boast About” or “Vent About” lists nobody. The parent must care about something for the child and have a label (“Proud” or “Devoted” to boast, “Disappointed” or “Given Up” to vent), and the person you click must be a friend (15 or more) or in the parent’s family tree.

15. Small things you may notice

Another grandchild. When a Sim has their first child but their parent already has a grandchild, the parent’s message now says “another grandchild”.
“No Reaction”. When nobody reacts to an event made with “Make Event Happen”, the message now says why.
The greyed hint. When a parent expects something of a grade-schooler, “Tell Them What You Expect” and “Ask What They Expect” show greyed with “The child must be a teen or older.” instead of hiding.
An install check. If the mod’s files are not installed right, or Lot 51 Core did not add the menus, “Family Expectations: Installation Issue” shows once when a save loads and says what to do.
Step-parents keep counting. A step-parent you have used the mod for keeps counting after a divorce, or after the other parent dies, until you use Forget This Pair, for as long as the game keeps their relationship.
University teams. Going up or down a level on the university soccer or e-sports team is not Career Success news.
Toddlers and babies. “Family Expectations…” no longer shows on a toddler’s or baby’s own click. A parent can still set expectations for them; they count once the child starts school.
“Current setting”. “Set Parent View” and “Set Child Feelings” now mark the row that holds the value.

16. Updating from 1.0

Update the usual way. Delete the old Maplebell_FamilyExpectations folder from Mods first, then add the new one. Never keep two copies.
Your saves carry over. Every 1.0 setting stays: expectations, reaction settings, approval, pressure and labels. What 1.1 adds starts empty: every upbringing reads Easy, there are no Trust labels, and nobody is at Breaking Point. One exception: a child or teen still “Crushed by Expectations” starts toward Breaking Point straight away.
Former step-parents come back. In a save from 1.0 or 1.0.1, a step-parent you used the mod for whose marriage ended comes back with their old values. One you had used Forget This Pair on comes back silent, until you use Forget This Pair on that pair once in 1.1.
Going back to 1.0.1 keeps every 1.0 setting but forgets what 1.1 added: childhood history, Trust and its labels, the Breaking Point build-up, open promises, gifts still waiting for a call, and the new moodlets. Keep a backup save before you try 1.1.
You need the base game, Lot 51 Core Library 1.43 or newer, and script mods turned on. Discover University is needed only for the university part (section 1).
Checked against game version 1.129.39.1030.

The numbers

For players who want the exact sizes. Pressure, approval and Trust each run from -100 to 100 (pressure from 0); friendship changes are the game’s, so they shift a little with the Sims’ ages.

Feature	What happens	Size
University	graduating with Honors, for a parent at “Non-negotiable”	approval +26 (a plain degree +23)
Childhood history	each kind moment in the teen years	heals 5
	a push as a grade-schooler / while already crushed / with a warm parent in their corner / once Hard	x1.5 / x1.5 / x0.5 / x0.5
Something to Prove	mild / stronger / “Fierce Determination”: skills, work and school	x1.1 / x1.25 / x1.5
	the push to job and school performance when it lights	+3 / +4 / +5
Breaking Point	“Talk to Them” goes well	pressure -30, approval +5, Trust +10
	goes badly	pressure +5, Trust -6
	“Give In”	approval +10, Trust -4
	“Rebel”	pressure -40, approval -15, Trust -8
	listening odds by setbacks: warm / even-handed / harsh	about 9 in 10 / 1 in 2 / 1 in 13
	closeness and Trust nudges	x1.5 or x2/3
	the parent’s view: “Devoted” / “Proud” / “Disappointed” / “Given Up”	x1.5 / x1.25 / x0.8 / x2/3
	each side’s traits	x1.25 or x0.8
Making peace	at peace / sad but lighter	pressure to 0 / pressure -15
	opening up to someone close	friendship +5 with them
Trust	everyday kindness / rarer kindness / everyday hurt / deep hurt	+3 / +5 / -4 / -6
	where everyday kindness stops adding	57 to 59 (it adds again from 60)
	labels: “My Safe Place” / “Can Lean on Them” / none / “Feels Judged” / “No Trust Left”	60 up / 20 to 59 / -20 to 19 / -60 to -21 / -61 down
Money Talks	thanks / sent back	approval +5 and Trust +5 / approval -5
Parents Talking	coming round, agreeing	the view moves about 3
	an argument / a bitter argument / a one-up	friendship about -5 / about -10 / about -5
	taking the child’s side / defending the other parent / word getting back	Trust +3 / -4 / -6
Promises	kept / kept, a promise to be proud / taken back or sent word	Trust +3 / also approval +3 / Trust -6
	gifts sent to a child who lives elsewhere	TV §1,000, Computer §1,000, Instrument §500, Shopping Spree §250, Room Makeover §2,000
Sibling Solidarity	“Support” / “Take [Parent]’s Side”	friendship about +5 and pressure -5 / friendship about -5
A Life Without Children	accept / try to understand / dismiss	pressure -20, Trust +6, Children one level down / pressure -5 / Trust -4